Your On The Other Side Of The World To Me
by Elle Mariet
Summary: NEW MOON: Bella finds comfort in one of her hallucinations of Edward, still holding onto the memories they shared before he left her.


A/N: I thought it would be cool to do a songfic of Bella's feelings about Edward, which haven't changed. I'll do one of her and Jacob too in the next one. I tried to make it as descriptive as possible so you'd get the mental picture. Review me please!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight saga or Other Side Of The World - KT Tunstall

Takes place in New Moon during Edward's absence.

Bella's POV

* * *

**Over the sea and far away **  
**She's waiting like an iceberg **  
**Waiting to change **  
**But she's cold inside **  
**She wants to be like the water**

I knew it wasn't right, no, it definitely wasn't right. But still, it felt real.

I saw his ghostly image, like a flicker of candle light. He stood there, in my very kitchen, with his serious face that I loved. It was like a blind man seeing light for the first time, a spasm of shock ran across my own eyes, and everything else on my body. I felt the love, the ever lasting undying love that I kept close inside, waiting for the right moment, when I would see him again.

I knew that my visions were more like hallucinations -- maybe I was going crazy after all. I would see Edward certain times, usually when I was doing something he would call ridiculously irrelevant. But I would do those things anyway, to see him. But today, he had appeared out of no where.

Loving Edward was all I'd ever know, all I would know, as far as I was concerned.

**All the muscles tighten in her face **  
**Buries her soul in one embrace **  
**They're one and the same **  
**Just like water**

The hallucination continued to stare at me, his lips twitching into my favourite crooked smile. If only, I could stay like this forever.

Edward leaned his hand out to mine, never taking his eyes off mine. I closed my eyes and imagined this being real, imagined him actually touching my skin with his ice cold fingers. I thought of the way he would have held me wrapped up in a blanket, and would whisper sweet words in my ear.

I wished all of this was simple, I wish it was easy to deal with. But here I was, hallucinating Edward has holding me in his strong cold arms. But in reality, he wasn't. He was somewhere, anywhere in the world -- the other side of the world, to me.

**And the fire fades away **  
**Most of everyday **  
**Is full of tired excuses **  
**But it's too hard to say **  
**I wish it were simple **  
**But we give up easily **  
**You're close enough to see that **  
**You're on the other side of the world to me**

I remembered what it was like to be with him, those care free days when we would be in our medow. The nights he would sneak in my window and lay with me until morning. It felt like dreams now.

Everyday that went by felt like a year. A part of me wanted to forget him, to forget the pain.. But the pain was a reminder, that he was real -- that they all were. I knew that I couldn't live like this, live with a ghost. As much as I wanted to remain here, in Charlie's house, with my vision of Edward forever, I knew that I couldn't. I had to move on at some point, even if it would kill me.

**On comes the panic light **  
**Holding on with fingers and feelings alike **  
**But the time has come **  
**To move along **

**And the fire fades away **  
**Most of everyday **  
**Is full of tired excuses **  
**But it's too hard to say **  
**I wish it were simple **  
**But we give up easily **  
**You're close enough to see that **  
**You're on the other side of the world**

"Edward, your gone. You vanished. But how can I live without you? When you were my life. I'm so lost and I don't know which way to go." I felt stupid for talking to thin air, but as my hallucination listened to me talk, he put a flickering finger to my lips. Be happy, he said.

I looked away. "How can I be happy when you still haunt me? When I pretend you still love me?"

**Can you help me **  
**Can you let me go **  
**And can you still love me **  
**When you can't see me anymore**

I turned back to face the vision, his golden brown eyes taking me in. The pain would never leave, it would stay with me forever. I would never truly get over Edward, it was like a dark cloud filled the sky and left me in the dark.

I stood up and got my coat off the hook. Maybe a visit to La Push would help clear my thoughts; I hadn't seen Jacob in a few days, which would probably explain my hallucinations. But I knew once I saw Jacob, most of the pain would go away, like the sun pushing the dark clouds away.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered before shutting the door.

**And the fire fades away **  
**Most of everyday **  
**Is full of tired excuses **  
**But it's too hard to say **  
**I wish it were simple **  
**But we give up easily **  
**You're close enough to see that **  
**You're on the other side of the world**  
**On the other side of the world**  
**You're on the other side of the world to me**


End file.
